To my knowledge, I have never seen my anus, nor have I ever asked anyone to describe it for me. Truth be told, even if I had a final audition for the lead role as the hot new proctologist on “Grey’s Anatomy,” and my career hinged on reciting a line with the word “anus,” I'm pretty certain I would replace it with another, non-anatomical word. “To prevent diseases of the button,” I might say, staring Dr. McDreamy right in the eyes, “you must clean your button after emptying the bowels.” Yes, button is a much, much better word. Little surprise, when a close friend called last week on her way home from her son’s preschool to inform me that Anal Bleaching was the new hot topic among fellow moms, I nearly fell out of my chair.

Wikipedia.org defines anal bleaching as, “the practice of bleaching the darker pigmentation of the skin around the anus for cosmetic purposes.” The ass-lightening trend began when adult film stars noticed (while watching dailies, I assume) the darker pigmentation around their anal area, and started exploring possible remedies. As the Brazilian bikini wax grew in popularity, the common housewife followed suit, purchasing products that could possibly “enhance the appearance of the anal, vaginal and other areas.”

According to CrappersQuarterly.com, “discoloration… can be caused by aging, hormonal changes from pregnancy and more.” Although safe, all natural bleaching products are available (www.southbeachskinsolutions.com), there are a number of skin lightening creams floating around on the Internet containing ingredients not suited for your backside much less your bare hands.

Pressbox.co.uk reports that two chemicals commonly found in skin lightening products, Hydroquinone and Mercury, pose serious health risks long term. Hydroquinone is a highly toxic chemical used in photo processing and in the manufacturing of rubber. Mercury in the form of Mercury Chloride & Ammoniated Mercury is carcinogenic (cancer causing), and appears alongside Hydroquinone on the list of toxic substances that can only be purchased via pharmacies with prescribed labels of toxicity. “Prolonged use of Hydroquinone will thicken collagen fibers, damaging the connective tissues… Mercury will slowly accumulate within the skin cells striping the skin of its natural pigment, leaving behind the tell tale signs of gray/blue pigmentation in the folds of the skin. In the long term the chemical will damage vital organs and lead to liver and kidney failure and mercury poisoning.”

Health risks aside, anal bleaching will in all likelihood never make my to-do list. For anyone who is interested, however, I suggest talking to a board certified dermatologist. You may also want to visit AdultFriendFinder.com. In an article aptly titled, “Britesmile for Bungholes,” author Tristan Taormino addresses a lot of the most commonly asked questions regarding the trend. “We bleach our teeth and the hair on our heads and bodies,” Taormino states, “so why not lighten up wherever else we want?” In retrospect, I think she may have a point.