Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, and Ralph Fiennes have done it. Beyoncé even proclaimed on Oprah Winfrey's show that she lost 20 pounds for "Dreamgirls" doing it. Detox kits and diets of one type or another have become so ingrained in our culture, they're even scripted into TV shows. On a recent episode of NBC's "30 Rock," Tina Fey's character is asked: "What are you doing? South Beach? Master Cleanse?"

Between Krispy Kremes, Big Macs, diet Cokes, martinis and fossil fuels, there's no doubt our bodies are "toxed." But do they need to be aggressively "DE-toxed?" And if so, what's the best way to go about it? You certainly have a range of choices.

First, the "theory"
Detox proponents claim that all the icky toxins and chemicals we ingest each day (either voluntarily or involuntarily) accumulate in our cells (especially fat cells), tissues, blood, and organs (such as the colon, liver and brain) and remain stored for an indefinite length of time causing all kinds of health problems.

According to Manhattan Nutritionist and author Natalia Rose, the processed foods that make up so much of the typical American diet "are deemed by the body as the worst kind of illegal aliens that sadly deteriorate into waste that the body can neither utilize nor expel." Instead, this junk morphs into a variety of problems like weight gain, a degeneration of the organs, slowing metabolism and premature aging.

So the idea is to get rid of that garbage as quickly and efficiently as possible. Most programs recommend dietary changes - or elimination of ALL food temporarily - and just about every program has a laxative component.

Detox du jour
From fasting, to short-term diets, to regimens of powders and capsules to complete dietary lifestyle changes, you have your choice of solutions. How deep do you want to go?

1. Master Cleanse - Perhaps the grand-daddy of all detox plans, Master Cleanse, also known as "The Lemonade Diet" was created in the 1940's by nutrition guru, Stanley Burroughs, to treat ulcers and other internal ailments. The plan gained wide exposure in the late '70s after the publication of his book "The Master Cleanser." But recently, it has enjoyed a surge in popularity, thanks to endorsements from celebrities (natch) such as the aforementioned comely Ms Knowles.

Although it's not meant to be a diet per se, it's not surprising weight loss occurs. You eat nothing except a daily laxative and drink 6-12 glasses of a special lemon concoction (lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water) along with a sea salt and water mixture in the morning (as a top-down enema). Don't travel too far from the bathroom. Users often mention frequent, runny trips to the toity while on this fast.

If you can't be bothered to buy the ingredients for the drink yourself, websites also abound with kits available for about 50 bucks, along with the original book and newer versions.

2. Fruit Flush - Created by nutritionist and certified fitness trainer Jay Robb, the Fruit Flush is designed to kick-start your diet, break food addictions and help you lose up to 9 pounds - in just three days! For the first day of the plan, you drink a 6-ounce glass of a protein drink every two hours, plus water and a salad at dinner with some lean protein. For days two and three, you eat fruit every two hours and then the salad for dinner. In addition to his 48-page booklet, Jay also conveniently sells the protein powder you'll need for the drinks - starting at just $19.89 for 12 ounces.

3. Colonix - Drnatura.com bills itself as "the #1 colon-cleansing and body detox resource." The key principle behind this plan is that toxins build up in your colon and then stick there in a gummy disgusting mess, preventing the proper elimination of gunk from your body and causing other problems such as irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, weight gain and constipation. The three-step Colonix program consists of a fiber supplement (laxative), herbal supplement designed to eliminate parasites and a laxative tea. A one-month supply is about $88, and at least two months is recommended for best results. The website even features a gallery of what users say came out of their colons. It ain't pretty. But I'm also not sure it's true.

A friend of mine, Zori Hodge, used the Colonix plan for a month this past summer. Zori says she was initially interested in trying the products because she suffered from constipation. After a month, she said her constipation was indeed eliminated, but she never passed any slime or mucous and had no weight loss - although she said she had increased energy. We were actually on vacation together for two weeks of that month. I watched her mix up and drink a glass of fibrous sludge every morning. That woman is tough.

4. Fast-Track Detox Diet - Ann Louise Gittleman calls herself "the first lady of nutrition" and her "Fast-Track Detox Diet" follows on the trim heels of her "Fat Flush Diet."

The Detox Diet follows an 11-day plan of seven days of "detox-supporting" foods (and supplements), a one day fast sipping her proprietary "Miracle Juice" and three days of re-introducing foods (and supplements) to "seal in" the results of the fast. Oh did I mention she also sells supplements? For $75 you get the Super GI Cleanse (fiber), Liver-Lovin Formula (herbal mix) and Flora-Key (probiotic beneficial bacteria). You could also eat more fruits and vegetables, drink cranberry juice and eat some yogurt, but why make it easy?

5. Joshi's Holistic Diet - Beloved by Gwyneth Paltrow and Cate Blanchett, London-based Dr Nish Joshi has developed a 21-day holistic diet which avoids acidic, toxic and refined foods, allowing your body to flush out the toxins and improve your body's pH balance. Dr Joshi says, without realizing it most of us eat fat too many acid forming foods. Eliminating these from your diet will take a lot of stress away from your digestive system and also change the way your palates work. This allows you to process your food more efficiently and stop it being stored as fat in the body, as well as actually altering the type of food you choose to eat. In particular, Dr Joshi says you need to avoid red meat, dairy produce, all fruit (except bananas - so much for the "fruit flush"), wheat, gluten and yeast, nuts, potatoes and (damn) the usual suspects of sugar, chocolate and alcohol. If you can't make it to London for a private consultation, you can buy the book. Oh, Dr Joshi will also soon be offering supplements under his own "Lifescience Nutritionals" brand.

6. Raw Food Detox Diet - Nutritionist and hottie Natalia Rose says her detox plan is less about eating only raw food and more about "quick exit." Once again the subject turns to poop. Rose says "ease of digestion and maximum elimination" are key to cellular renewal (and she's not talking about your phone contract).

Rose utilizes a method of food-combining, where mixing foods from different categories is forbidden. In addition, she categorizes foods into a hierarchy of 11 groups based on "quick exit" where level number 1, the best, contains fruits and vegetables and level number 11, the worst, contains chemicals and artificial colorings and sweeteners. Neutral foods include olives and 70% chocolate, and on HER diet you can have a couple glasses of wine anytime (just like MY diet!).

7. Whole Foods 365 Complete Body Cleanser - Even the revered Whole Foods offers detox solutions. Under the 365 brand, the $18 kit includes a two-week supply of fiber blend (laxative) and milk thistle "liver cleanse" supplement. But perhaps you'd prefer the "Nature's Secret Ultimate Fasting Cleanse Kit" for $55 which hopes you'll be able to achieve "2-3 bowel movements daily" or the "Heavy Metal Cleanse" for $38.99 that aims to cleanse your body of dangerous mercury seeping from you fillings (and into your poop, I suppose).

And the doctors say...

Not surprisingly most doctors and nutritionists (who aren't trying to sell supplements and powders) feel detoxing isn't necessary or useful, and in fact may do more harm than good.

"Your body does a perfectly good job of getting rid of toxins on its own," says Dr. Nasir Moloo, a gastroenterologist in Sacramento, California. "There's no evidence that these types of diets are necessary or helpful."

While there are medical conditions that interfere with organ function and prevent the body from clearing toxins, Moloo says generally healthy people already have a built-in detoxification system - the liver, kidneys, lungs and skin.

In Florida, Palm Beach County gastroenterologist Dr Richard Merzer heartily agrees. "Detox kits are a total waste of time." And by attempting to flush out the "bad stuff" from your intestines, Merzer warns, you're also flushing out the good bacteria you need for healthy intestines. After a detox kit, "you start all over again. You're back to square one." Merzer says people may feel better after going through a detox program, "but it's probably more of a placebo than anything else."

And for what it's worth, here's my take. If you have a toxic substance abuse problem, what's the first thing they tell you to do? Stop doing it. It's like that old Henny Youngman joke where the patient says, "Doc, it hurts when I do this" and the doctor replies, "Stop doing it." Stop putting the junk in your mouth to begin with. I certainly don't need a fifty-dollar kit to tell me that. And about my other end...I don't like the way the plans want you to use laxatives all the time. If you need to poop, eat more fruits and vegetables. Eat prunes fergawdsakes. And aside from fasting (which is a harsh non-sustainable solution - ask people in famine-areas if fasting is working for them), most of the plans advocate a diet of unprocessed, low fat foods. Well, DUH. It always gets down to the same basic principles. Eat decent food. Drink lots of water. Get off your butt. Any questions?

Michele Hickford is a freelance writer with an opinion on just about everything. She is the author of "Do I Need To Slap You?"