I think most of us can comfortably agree with the old adage, "nobody's perfect." We women are particularly hard on ourselves in this regard. We understand the theory, but in practice there's always something about our thighs/butt/boobs/hips we'd like to change.

For men, it seems to be much simpler. Men seem to fully and cheerfully accept their various physical imperfections. Except for one important thing. The one body part that causes men the most consternation and angst if it deviates too much from the norm (in every way but generous girth or length) is the part that spends most of the day and night well hidden under clothing. The penis.

Aside from meager dimensions (perceived or real), there are a number of abnormalities which can afflict the Johnson - and thankfully, surgical remedies for each. But first, a quick tour of the tool itself.

Let me tell you, this tubular organ is far more complicated than anything Oscar Meyer could ever hope to design.

Beyond its rather public protuberance, the penis has its roots way back in the body underneath the prostate gland towards the anus. Internally, it is attached to the undersurface of the pubic bone.

The shaft of the penis is made up of mostly spongy tissue called the "corpus spongiosum" (sounding rather like one of Harry Potter's spells). During sexual arousal, the small arteries in this tissue fill with blood, and together with a muscular constriction of veins, which drain blood from the penis, cause and maintain an erection.

The bulbous tip of the penis, is called the glans. Around the glans is a ridge of flesh, called the coronal ridge, and in the center, on the underside, is a small band of skin called the frenulum, which tethers the foreskin. It's sort of like that little piece of flesh that keeps your upper lip attached to the inside of your mouth. Sort of.

The outer surface of the foreskin is regular skin while the inner surface is actually a sensitive mucosal membrane containing sebaceous glands that lubricate and protect the glans from friction. Generally, the foreskin is much larger than you might think: about the size of one of those handy lens cleaners you get free with your sunglasses. On a circumcised penis, the skin that would have been covered by the foreskin becomes slightly thicker - and some would say, less sensitive. All circumcised men also have a scar around the shaft of the penis, which can vary in location from near the head to far down the shaft.

The skin of the penis itself is also infiltrated with muscle fibers which extend from the muscle of the scrotum (or "scrota" if you have a pair). The strength or activity of this muscle determines in large part whether the scrota hang loosely or are held tighter against the body. In other words, the more active the muscle, the tighter and more crinkly the scrota appear - although of course "shrinkage" can also occur as a result of fear or cold.

So what's wrong with yours? Maybe nothing. Maybe it's all in your head. Or maybe all you need is a little nip and tuck to correct some of these little kinks in your armour. Thankfully, modern cosmetic surgery offers many options.