You know where they are ("down there") and what they do. Your genitals (or genitalia, if you're Latin) are your externally visible sex organs. For the most part, they bring you pleasure and help ensure the survival of the humanity - along with the rest of the animal kingdom (let's not forget critter genitals, and that funny dance your dog does with a pillow). But there are a few disturbing things about genitals perhaps you wish you didn't know.

Despite their use in slang specifically to describe male parts, gonads exist in both men (testes) and women (ovaries). The interesting thing is, they start out essentially identical or "indifferent" in the embryo.

An indifferent gonad becomes a testis if the embryo has a Y chromosome, but if the embryo has no Y chromosome, the indifferent gonad becomes an ovary. Gonads really are the true sex organs because they generate reproductive gametes containing inheritable DNA. They also produce most of the primary hormones that affect sexual development, and regulate other sexual organs and sexually differentiated behaviors. Go Nads!

According to Amnesty International, female genital mutilation is practiced extensively in Africa and is common in some countries in the Middle East.

The most severe form of mutilation is infibulation, also known as pharaonic circumcision. The procedure consists of clitoridectomy (where all, or part of, the clitoris is removed), removal of all, or part of the labia minora, and cutting of the labia majora to create raw surfaces, which are then stitched or held together in order to form a cover over the vagina when they heal. A small hole is left to allow urine and menstrual blood to escape. The vast majority (85%) of genital mutilations performed in Africa consist of clitoridectomy or removal of the labia minora.

Mutilation may be carried out using broken glass, a tin lid, scissors, a razor blade or some other cutting instrument. When infibulation takes place, thorns or stitches may be used to hold the two sides of the labia majora together, and the legs may be bound together for up to 40 days.

A "Prince Albert" pierces the penis from the outside of the frenulum and into the urethra. Prince Albert was reputed to have had this piercing done prior to his marriage to the British Queen around 1825, at the time Beau Brummel started the craze for ultra-tight men's trousers. Because the pants were so tight, the penis needed to be held to one side or the other so as not to create an unsightly bulge. To accomplish this, some men had their penis pierced to allow it to be held by a hook on the inside of the trousers. This piercing was called a "Dressing Ring" because tailors would ask if a gentleman dressed to the left or the right and tailor the trousers accordingly. In fact, to this day tailors still ask if you dress to the left or right. So much for those prudish Victorians!

As reported in Science News, a new study found that infant boys who were exposed in the womb to modest concentrations of certain common plasticizers and solvents developed genital changes including smaller-than-normal penises. The results from this study of 85 boys are consistent with what researchers have seen in laboratory animals treated with the chemicals, called phthalates. In the lab tests, the substances impair fetal production of testosterone and other male sex hormones.

The new study measured the distance between the testes and anus (anogenital) on boys born to mothers with varying degrees of phthalate exposure during pregnancy. Mothers with the highest phthalate exposures had boys with slightly less space between the gonads and anus than did mothers with less phthalate exposure. Moreover, boys with a short anogenital distance tended to have smaller penises and were far more likely to have testes that didn't descend properly into the scrotum.

Pthalates are found in perfumes, nail polish and hard plastics, flooring, paints and adhesives. So maybe you ought to quit that manicurist job if you're expecting.

A study by the University of California in San Diego found that 30% of originally male transsexuals whose genitals had been removed as part of gender reassignment claimed to continue to experience the sensation of having a penis. Can you imagine how irritating that is? You go through all the pain and expense to get rid of it and then feel like it's still there? The study also found that 60% of heterosexual men interviewed who had their genitals removed following cancer had the same sensation. Some scientists believe this is evidence of our brains being "hard-wired" for gender-specific body images at birth. The lower number for transsexuals could indicate why many transsexuals claim to feel a mismatch between their 'gender identity' and the sex that they were born.

Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay revealed recently that he burned his privates at his home kitchen.

The hot-tempered host was standing too near a hot oven while cooking without underwear (don't we all) and accidentally hurt his "testicular region." Ramsay told The Sun newspaper, "The other day I was standing too close to the hob when I was cooking. I was wearing cotton trousers and underneath I was going commando. Then suddenly I felt this searing heat - my balls were burning." Given the way he "busts the balls" of his young chef contestants on television, some might call this poetic justice.

If the process that causes fetal tissue to become "male" or "female" is disrupted during gestation, ambiguous genitalia can develop, making it difficult to classify the infant as male or female. Ambiguous genitalia in genetic females may take the form of an enlarged clitoris that has the appearance of a small penis, fused labia, resembling a scrotum, or a urethral opening anywhere along, above, or below the surface of the clitoris. In a genetic male, ambiguous genitalia may include a small penis (less than an inch), a urethral opening along, above or below the penis, small scrotum with some degree of separation, resembling labia.

Ambiguous genitalia is usually not life threatening, but can create social problems for the child and the family. (Gee, ya think?).

Brooklyn Park police said the incident occurred in June 2007 at Blondie's bar, when a customer tried to cancel a food order and got into a dispute with the owner and bar staff.

"It is not like he was drunk and disorderly. There was a dispute over the time it was going to take for his food," said acting Brooklyn Park Police Chief Greg Roehl.

Investigators say the owner, Thor Gunderson, even tried to stop the man from calling 911 for help. When police got to the bar, they say they found the customer bleeding and on the ground, restrained by Gunderson and a bouncer.

"At the hospital they determined he had an injury which was to his scrotum and that one of his testicles was actually torn loose," said Roehl. Check please!

Bat bugs are small, reddish-brown parasites related to bed bugs that suck the blood of bats and sometimes bite humans. But their violence doesn't stop there. Instead of entering females in the normal "polite" way for mating, male bat bugs use their sharp penises to stab the females' abdomens, injecting sperm directly into the bloodstream. What a prick, eh? As defense against this violation, females have developed structures called paragenitals that guide a male's needle-like member into a spongy reservoir of immune cells. Ouch.

Apparently, the genitals of some polar bears are getting smaller because of industrial pollutants. Polar bears from northernmost Norway, western Russia and east Greenland are among the most polluted animals in the Arctic, as they feast on ringed seals and bearded seals. The blubber of these seals accumulates high levels of organic pollutants loaded with halogens such as chlorine. These organohalogens can act like hormones.

Scientists found the higher the level of organohalogens in polar bear, the smaller testicle and penis size and weight. Ovary size and weight decreased as organohalogen levels rose as well. The scientists say reducing polar bear penis size would make sex less successful (not to mention humiliating) for a species with already low reproductive rates.

And for some mood music while you read this article, perhaps you'd like to listen to the sounds of Amputated Genitals.
Fortunately, it's not real amputated genitals, but a brutal "death metal" band from Colombia. Their most recent CD, lovingly entitled Human Meat Gluttony, was produced by Gore and Blood Productions (of course). You can listen to some of their melodious tunes (or malodorous, depending on your perspective) on their MySpace page.